How often do we find ourselves getting to the end of our day totally overstimulated, depleted and simply unfulfilled?
How often do we think that’s NORMAL?
Here’s the thing —
If it’s not life-giving, it’s life-draining.
We are told that we should focus on serving and always being there for others, and whilst I fully agree that we need to do that in order to live meaningful lives, I do think that we often find ourselves living in extremes and we end up forgetting the point.
And I believe that yes — God wants us to serve, lay down our crowns, contribute and even endure pain, but I also believe that God wants us to enjoy our lives and live in radical alignment with that which gives us life.
“A thief has only one thing in mind-he wants to steal, slaughter, and destroy. But I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect-life in its fullness until you overflow!”
John 10:10 TPT
So my suggestion is to start finding things that excite you.
Start with What Gives You Life
I dare you to go on a quest.
I dare you to go find that which you love.
I dare you to start working on that idea that scares you and exhilarates you at the same time.
I dare you to take a chance on yourself.
Take a chance on the life that God created you to live.
Let’s get practical. Here’s a powerful exercise my mentor taught me—one I tried for the first time last year and have since shared with all my clients: the energy audit and the Hell Yes and Hell No Table.
Practical Frameworks to Help
I seriously love these two frameworks!
First, I look at what energises me…
These are activities, people, or experiences that make me feel alive, peaceful, creative, hopeful, or connected. After engaging with them, I should feel replenished and inspired.
Then I look at what drains my energy—these are things that leave me feeling anxious, overwhelmed, resentful, depleted, or foggy. They often pull me out of alignment or feel like I’m overextending.
So first I offer you this—take a moment to ask yourself:
What gives me a sense of joy or lightness?
What activities make me lose track of time in a good way?
After doing this, do I feel more like myself?
Examples:
Being in nature (e.g. ocean, forest, sunlight)
Deep, meaningful conversations
Movement (dancing, running, stretching)
Then ask yourself:
What do I dread doing, even if it seems small?
What leaves me emotionally exhausted or heavy afterward?
What kinds of conversations, environments, or habits feel off?
Examples:
Constant notifications or screen time
Overcommitting or saying “yes” out of obligation
Surface-level or draining conversations
Then I put it into a table to help myself visually see and stay accountable to what no longer serves me. It helps me identify what I need to stop doing, outsource, ask for help with—and what I definitely need to do more of!
Feel free to take out your journal now and fill these in or take a screenshot and print it :)
Then to get even more practical, I move into my Hell Yes / Maybe / Hell No table:
I Didn’t Invent This…
The "Hell Yes / Maybe / Hell No" decision-making table isn’t mine to claim—and I think it’s important to acknowledge that.
The original concept — “Hell Yes or No” — was coined by Derek Sivers in 2009. His idea was simple but powerful: if something doesn’t excite you wholeheartedly, it’s a no. That clarity has helped so many people break the cycle of overwhelm and overcommitment.
But for me, this tool became so much more than just a clever productivity life hack.
It became a radical act of honesty for myself.
And that shift didn’t happen on my own.
I want to honour my coach and mentor from Untapped—Briony McKenzie—who not only introduced me to this framework but helped me integrate this framework in a way that aligned with my values, my nervous system, and my walk with God. Her guidance reminded me that discernment isn’t just about efficiency—it’s about integrity. About being truthful, spacious, and surrendered in how I make decisions.
To connect with Untapped’s work that personally TRANSFORMED my life, find them on Instagram here: Untapped HQ
To connect with Briony’s body of work, find her here on Instagram: Briony McKenzie
Making Biblically-Aligned Decisions
And yes — I’ve asked myself whether this way of living is biblical.
Here’s what I’ve come to:
“Let your ‘yes’ be yes, and your ‘no,’ no”
Matthew 5:37 NKJV
Jesus taught us to be clear and trustworthy in our speech. Saying “maybe” when we mean “no” leads to confusion, both for ourselves and others.
I still say yes way too quickly sometimes, and I am on an active journey of asking God and asking myself where I need to say no, or maybe instead. And swiftly giving the “yes” or “no” once I’ve decided instead of leaving them hanging.
I cannot depend on my feelings as they will change no matter the weather. So I would rather communicate clearly and act with integrity if things change…
“For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.”
1 Corinthians 14:33 NKJV
Clarity brings peace.
So if it feels like a “yes” and I know I have capacity, it’s a yes and comes with peace.
(There’s a difference between perceiving something as uncomfortable vs. something bringing genuine discomfort from a place of misalignment of values—that’s where discernment comes in.)
Chaos and constant overcommitment don’t. So if I know I should rather decline but I say yes anyway, I can feel the chaos and overwhelm creep in.
Time to clean up, shift, or push through and learn my lesson—knowing I will adjust accordingly in the next week.
Scripture is full of wisdom about pausing before acting.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
James 1:5 NIV
I see the frameworks as tools to help pause and discern — is this aligned with what God is doing in me?
My knee-jerk reaction is to just act.
So this is something new for me. I think it’s good to pause, invite God in—and once clarity, peace and/or confirmation comes to act and then to act with confidence despite fear that may arise… trusting that God will either redirect if it’s not for you or bless the way forward.
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Galatians 1:10 NIV
This has helped me notice when I’m saying yes just to please others and when I genuinely want to say yes because I know it’s in alignment with my values.
Where we need to be cautious is if this becomes a way to avoid sacrifice, discomfort, or obedience—it starts to contradict what Jesus modelled: laying down His life in love and service.
Not everything from God feels like a “Hell Yes”… sometimes obedience feels quiet, inconvenient, or costly. So discernment is super important. (More of that in another letter…)
Implementation Over Information
Try filling these out yourself this week. Use them as a spiritual check-in for what you need more or less of.
Remember this: Information does not equal implementation.
We don’t grow by knowing alone.
We grow by doing.
Because truthfully?
Information ≠ Implementation.
And revelation without application rarely bears fruit.
Just because I know what’s right doesn’t mean I’m living it.
Truth is, wisdom isn’t just about what we’ve heard or studied — it’s what we apply.
It’s how we show up when no one’s watching.
It’s the fruit our lives bear when we choose obedience over overwhelm, and discipline over delay.
God doesn’t just want informed believers — He wants transformed ones.
“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”
James 1:22 NIV
Final Invitation
You were not made to live depleted.
You were made to create, contribute, and walk in alignment with what God placed in you.
These tools help you pay attention to that.
If you want support walking this out with clarity, empathy and a bias toward action—I offer 1:1 mentorship rooted in biblical principles. Just reply to this email and we’ll take the next right step together. <3
Keep showing up. I believe in you.
This is sooo good. I definitely can relate to feeling a little depleted lately and need to work on saying no! I say yes way to quickly often because of the fear of missing out or the fear of disappointing people. Ultimately, making decisions out of a place of peace and clarity is something I want to grow in. Such helpful tools to learn how to walk in alignment with God’s plan.